MonkeyWith a Knife

A Simian of Character, Already Furnished with Steel, for the Astonishingly Low Price of Three Dollars and Seventy-Five Cents.

An engraved dining-room scene: a chimpanzee butler carves a roast while astonished Edwardian guests look on. — Fig. 1 — A Sunday Carver at his post. Note the composure of the monkey, and the want of composure among the guests.

Engraved portrait of the Sunday Carver, a chimpanzee in waistcoat presenting a carving knife. — Catalogue No. 27
The Sunday Carver

At Last — A Practical Monkey

Gentlemen of Industry, Ladies of the House: How many evenings have you sat down to a roast, only to discover that the carving has been left to chance, to servants of uncertain mettle, or — heaven forfend — to yourself? The Monkey-With-Knife Concern of New York now offers to the discerning household a fully trained monkey, already equipped with a knife of Sheffield manufacture.

He will carve the Sunday joint. He will pare an apple with the gravity of a magistrate. He will stand watch over the silver. He will not, we are assured, cut the telegraph wires, though one specimen in Milwaukee did develop strong opinions about the grocer.

Carves the joint without commentary.
Opens letters, parcels, and awkward silences.
Looks impressive at dinner, and terrible at cards.
Slightly cheaper than a second footman.
Requires only bananas and light conversation.

Three Distinguished Models

Choose Your Specimen

Unsolicited, mostly

Testimonials

“Since taking delivery of Reginald, my mutton has never been more evenly sliced. My wife has never been more alarmed. I consider both results a success.”
A. P. Thistlewaite, Esq.
Providence, R.I.

“I asked for a monkey with a knife. I received a monkey with a knife. I asked no further questions, and neither, I find, does he.”
Mrs. Hortense G. Pembroke
Baltimore, Md.

“The children are delighted. The cat is not. The joint, I am bound to say, is a triumph. I shall mention it in my next sermon only indirectly.”
The Rev. Cyrus Doolittle
Poughkeepsie, N.Y.

Engraved still life of a Sheffield carving knife, a banana, and a blank calling card on linen. — Fig. 2 — The knife, the banana, and the calling card. A complete education.

The Scientific Principle

A monkey, left to himself, will seize whatever is nearest. We have simply arranged that the nearest object is a knife, and that the knife is pointed at the roast, and not at the piano. The rest is what learned men call Character, and what we call packing straw.

A warning from the surgeon-general of the concern. Do not furnish your monkey with a second knife. One is plenty.

The Guarantee: If your monkey should fail to hold a knife, or hold it in a manner we consider artistic, return him at your own expense and we shall send you a strongly-worded pamphlet.

Cut along this line

The coupon

Dispatch a Monkey at Once

Fill the coupon, name your specimen, and continue. The clerk waits at the next window.